A HALOWEEN COLLAR

Apr 11, 2014 by Wayne Zurl

I entered this in a contest calling for a drouble, something with exactly 200 words. It had to begin with the words “I had a wonderful time” and refer to something appropriate to Halloween. I won a magazine. See how you like it.

A Halloween Collar
By Wayne Zurl

“I’ve had a wonderful time, but this wasn’t it.” I smacked the kid on the back of his head.

A ghoul mask fell from his hand to the floor.

“Up yours,” he said.

I grabbed his nose, twisted, and put my face an inch from his ear. “The next time I hit you, smartass, you’ll lose your teeth.”

His eyes strained to look at me. I removed my fingers from his beak.

“I chased you four blocks, nitwit,” I said, “and ripped my pants going over that fence. I ‘m not a happy policeman. Again, where did you get those fireworks?”

He smirked. “I forget.”

I smacked him again—a little harder, on the temple.

His hand went defensively to his head. “I’ll have your badge for that, man.”

My turn to grin. “I doubt that, you little shit bird. Blowing up a mailbox makes you guilty of a felony. Say hello to the guards at juvenile hall for me.”

The weasel shook his head. “I don’t think so.”

I ignored that. “Last try before you go to jail. Where did you get the M-80s?”

He shrugged and another arrogant smirk crossed his face. “From my father, the chief inspector.”